well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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