the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize