By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Randomize
