I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Everyone says I win the strip club
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
