Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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