Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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