i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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