he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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