so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
