I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
