When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i just google imaged poop.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
