did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I just pynch a tree in the face
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
