Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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