i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize
