She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Its about making memories worth repressing
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
