I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
