well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
