Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
