so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
