Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
why is half of my head shaved?
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