Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Randomize
