Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
