Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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