If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
