I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
