Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I just want to make out with him forever
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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