it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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