I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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