i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
