no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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