His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Your mouth is God's brothel.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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