so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
You need Xanax blowdarts
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
