A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
