I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
