i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
