just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
