She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize