Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
