You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
