I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
