I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I use my feet as sexual weapons
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
