I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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