I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
The feeling are messing with the penis
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
