we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
