guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
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