He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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