Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(518): View more from New York

it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in

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(619): View more from California

Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

he thanks me after handjobs.

(1-203): View more from Connecticut

you found the perfect man.

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(817): View more from Texas

And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub

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(248): View more from Michigan

i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.

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(432): View more from Texas

So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.

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(813): View more from Florida

I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions

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(562): View more from California

I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.

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(360): View more from Washington

The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.

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