I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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