I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
40s are totally the cure
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
