I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
