if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
