I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
