I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
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