I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
