Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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