I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
