Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
