toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize